Friday, March 20, 2015


It’s another Friday, and here goes this week’s edition of the Av’t Corner!
Today, I share with you the #Stuck Series

How does someone stay stuck 38 years in a bad place?

How does anybody try so hard to maintain a dysfunctional relationship for 5 years all because they do not want to end up with a broken relationship? They know they want better, but they can’t just seem to leave.

How does anyone stay stuck in a job with a physically, emotionally and/or sexually abusive or exploitative boss for 10 years? He wants a better job. But he remains in his bitter job.

How do people stay stuck in careers, in courses, in places, in conditions, in friendships? When you ask them, they tell you they want to get out. But you realise that they said the same thing 10 years ago.

Then why are they still there? What keeps them stuck?

This week, let us talk about being #Stuck. I have been #Stuck in my life at different points. So I definitely can relate.

In other news, this week, I'll be celebrating the day I successfully completed my 9-month tenancy in mom's womb and visited earth for the first time. It's been a long and very interesting journey on my walk to immortality. And I am grateful. Deeply grateful.

Sunday, March 22, this week as well, I shall be hosted by the wonderful @Grace_Festus on #WhenSinglesGather. Time is 5:00 pm. You definitely want to be there! [Follow her handle for more details]

#Stuck 1


"Do you want to be healed?"

Does this question that Jesus asked seem a little odd to you?

Here was a man who was obviously sick. He had been lying there for 38 years. Of course, he wanted to be healed. Or did he?

But this question really isn't odd, when you look closely.

You see, I see you, and I know you have been lying in this same spot for 38 years, I should ask you, Do you want to be healed?

You have come to be familiar and at home with a community whose reality is defined by dysfunction, I should ask you, Do you really want to be healed?

You have made yourself so comfortable and have consistently given yourself excuses for why you are where you are in life, I should ask you, Do you want to be healed?

The angel comes here at a CERTAIN SEASON.

Every. Single. Year.

So if you missed it the first time, you had 364 days to prepare for the next one. But you missed the next one. And the one after that. And the one after that too. You had 38 times to prepare for your angel, for your next opportunity. You had 13,870 days in all. And you're still here?

This is for someone reading this.

You have kept missing your opportunities. But it's not possible to persistently miss opportunities by "accident".

I don't think it's a COINCIDENCE any longer. I think it's a CHOICE. I should ask you, Do you really want it?

From the way it looks here, your body language tells me you are comfortable where you are; because if you were uncomfortable enough, if you were sick and tired of being sick and tired, that little extra discomfort needed to push you into your place of elevation would not have stopped you. Those who got in ahead of you needed it bad enough.

It looks like you're stuck. But it looks like you're enjoying it.

So I'm not sure. That's why I'm asking.


#Stuck 2


When you listen to the response of the man, then you realise the question was really important.

He was asked a very simple question. He should have given a very simple answer. Yes. No.

But what did he do? He launched into an explanation of excuses.

I need it. I really do. But when the time comes for me to make it into the place of my breakthrough, before I can do anything, someone else has jumped ahead of me. And I do not have anybody to help me.

No one wants to help me. My uncle is not helping. My father is not helping. My boss is not helping. It is not like it's my fault. I have tried, God knows I have tried. It is someone else's fault. My wife. My children. My background. The economy. My weakness. I don't have enough money. I don't have enough connections. I don't have an office. I don't have the time. But you know I tried. You know, at least, I made an attempt.

But you see, the man who finds excuses, rarely finds anything else useful in life.

I don't know what exactly you are searching for. What I do know, however, is that except you are prepared to get rid of and go beyond those silly excuses, you are not going to find the result you want. You're going to remain stuck.

That's what excuses are good for- keeping you stuck.

So what's it going to be? The excuses or your dream?

#Stuck 3


My boyfriend beats me. I think I should leave that abusive relationship || Ah! Don't say that. My boyfriend beats me too. See my scars. But I have stayed. We should be thanking god we have boyfriends. Do you know how many people are looking for boyfriend?

I am not finding fulfilment at my job. I am frustrated. || What is fulfilment? Is that a French word? You better be thankful you still have a job. Do you know how many people do not have jobs?

I think I deserve better in life. I am going to put in for training. And invest in conferences and books. ‘You want to do what? It looks like you have enough money to waste. Did Jesus invest in conferences and books? You better spend that money to buy correct clothes. Don't you know there are people looking for money?’


There is a community or network of people within which, if you ever find yourself, you can be sure you would remain stuck where you are, for a long time. A very long time.

A community that tells you to be happy in mediocrity simply because there is more mediocrity out there, might make you feel good about yourself. Ultimately, though, they do you more harm than good. A network that compares and justifies dysfunction in your life might seem like a good support system. But it really is a grave-digging mechanism.

Why should I thank God because "At least, I am better than others"? Since when has thanking God been conditional on who I am better than?

Were we created to be "better than others" or "being the best version of ourselves"?

This man had dwelt in a sick community for 38 years. Somehow, he must have gotten used to it and become comfortable in it- after all, others were sick there too.

But if you are going to stop being stuck, then you must leave whatever community or network which encourages you to be happy being stuck because others are.

#Stuck 4


Are you tired of being stuck? Rise.

But you must understand that every physical rising is predicated on a mental rising.

If you have not risen in your head, if you have not elevated your thought to accept, that there is something better, and that you deserve better; if somehow, in your head, you're still stuck in that old place- in that old community, and with the limiting beliefs that had held you down for so long, then you cannot rise no matter how much you struggle.

If you really do not believe that you can rise, then it really might not matter how many times you pray about it, or shout about it, or make positive confessions about it. You will remain stuck in it. Because you will not rise above the level of your thoughts- and of your belief system.

When Jesus told that man to rise but didn't touch him, or hold him to drag him up, or help him in any other way, it required that man to believe that he could do NOW the same thing he could not do BEFORE. It required that man to operate at a new level of thinking that had been radically changed and that could now accept a new set of codes, of instructions.

He had to first THINK that he could rise. And then MOVE to validate his thoughts.

You cannot operate on a new and higher level with the same set of codes you operated in a previous, lower level.

Are you tired of being stuck? Are you ready to rise?

Change your operational codes. Change your thinking. Elevate.

#Stuck 5



I have seen too many people with very strong beliefs which they profess, yet very little results.

I believe I am made for better : I believe I am rich : I believe I will get a better job : I believe I will get a husband : I believe I will make it in life : I believe I will prosper.

But, for all their beliefs, they have gotten nothing. And that is likely because they have DONE nothing.

Listen. As powerful as the engine of a car is, that car is going nowhere without the tires. Where are your tires? Are you satisfied with just revving your engine as loud as possible? Are you ready to WALK the TALK?

Your future husband will not come and meet you in that place you are hiding. Are you walking your talk?

Aliko Dangote will not come and find you in that dinghy room with all your great business plans safely in your file. Are you walking your talk?

The recording label of your dream will not come and pick you up to sign a wonderful contract in that house where only your shower knows how beautifully you sing. Are you walking your talk?

Get out of that Complacent Zone you have dwelt in. You have been there for too long. Far too long.

Get up. Now, get out. Walk away from mediocrity. Don't look back.


You wont miss it, I promise.

[The End]

AKPOVETA, Valentine 't
|KinetoLeadership™ Coach


No comments:

Post a Comment

* Comments on this blog are entirely the opinion of the blog visitor(s) who post them. Real McCoy Blog shall not be liable for any harm such comment(s) might cause.
* Health tips offered on this blog are meant for information purposes, always consult your health practitioner(s) for diagnosis/treatment of health problems.